From the messy desk of Paul Levine...
Two years ago, the A.P. surveyed its stories and determined that more wacky news came from Florida than any other state. Well, nothing has changed. Herewith, the evidence:.
FAVORITE LAW STORY OF THE WEEK...SO FAR.
A man is injured in a car crash and is sitting in a lawyer's office about to sign the retainer agreement to sue the other driver...when he falls out of the chair. (This is not a lawyer joke).
Result: "The Florida Supreme Court on Thursday reinstated a $1.2 million negligence award to a man who was injured when he fell out of a law firm's chair during a consultation about filing a car crash lawsuit."
KEEPING THE WIFE BEJEWELED...AND IN THE DARK.
Let me bring you up to date on the Scott Rothstein Ponzi scheme case in Fort Lauderdale. Ex-attorney Rothstein is doing 50 years for his $1.2 billion fraud. Wife Kim is about to be sentenced next week for hiding assets, including a 12 carat yellow diamond ring hubby gave her. The Daily Business Review reports that Kim, pictured below, asked her best friend this pithy question the day the fraud came to light: "What’s a Ponzi scheme?"
THE LOST ART OF SPELLING (NOT TORI)
Okay, let’s admit it. I was rooting for the University of Miami (the "U") against Florida State last Saturday night, but my Canes got thrashed. So, maybe I’m not objective. But I present you with what I choose to believe is an English honors major at F.S.U. (I think she also wrote a paper on Too Loose Lautrec). I borrowed that last line from writer pal J. Carson Black.
DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME
Okay, you're a woman who wants a curvier tush. So do you go to a plastic surgeon or a woman with no medical training who injects you with bathroom caulking, cement, mineral oil, and flat tire sealant...then covers the wound with super glue? We're in South Florida. You know the answer. Oneal Ron Morris, who practiced the craft on herself (below), was charged with various crimes for her "medical" work.
The "fix-a-flat" lady pleaded guilty to practicing medicine without a license and will spend a year in jail. In the immortal words of the New York Daily News: "She put too much junk in the trunk." What's not so funny: she still faces a manslaughter charge for the death on one patient.
AND NOW THIS BRIEF COMMERCIAL MESSAGE
FOOL ME TWICE is on sale at Amazon Kindle for $1.99 until 8 pm Eastern Wednesday. "Fool me once, Lassiter, shame on you. Fool me twice...you're dead." More info here.
As always, Amazon Prime members can borrow the e-book for FREE.