Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Ten Things That Make Me HAPPY

By Cornelia

1. This excellent news from The New York Times, because, as my sister says, "There are two kinds of food in the world: food that's good, and food that needs more salt."

No Benefit Seen in Sharp Limits on Salt in Diet

2. My new house, and having all my books under one roof for the first time in five years... also, Pierre Deux armchairs for SUPER CRAZY CHEAP off craigslist:

(Note: these are only three of the shelves. There are ten shelves so far. I think I have to buy more from IKEA. I love IKEA.)

3. The view from my new room (TREES!)

4. Having my own lilacs to smell for the first time since I lived in Boulder (Which was, like, ten bazillion years ago or something.)

Also, they might be boarding some horses in the barn, soon. Which would be awesome. Because I think horseshit actually smells good. And also I will not have to feed them, or muck out the stalls. Because even though I'm rather fond of the smell of horseshit, I haven't missed mucking out stalls in the thirty-odd years since I last did it. And I was never really great at it. So I hope this writing thing works out. (I also hugely suck at waitressing.)

5. The paint colors my landlord let me pick out. Especially since I didn't actually have to do any of the painting.

I may have posted this already. BUT I REALLY LIKE THE COLORS.

6. Did I mention salt? I love salt. Like, SO MUCH. More than those colors.

7. My firstborn, even though she's shaved half her head:

8. Still getting to hang out in the city, even though all my books are in the country. Especially when I get to go to groovy restaurants on someone else's expense account. Or just really cheap Chinese-Cuban diners if dinner's on me:

View of Chrysler building from restaurant terrace Sunday night... and here's view of Central Park from last night:

9. Getting to go to the Fox upfronts yesterday:

10. Flavored salts from Williams-Sonoma:

11. (BONUS!) Having my co-conspirator like the first two chapters I wrote of our thriller novel. Which starts in Moscow and in which I got to mention the Gulag prison-gang guys who found a frozen wooly mammoth and ate it. Raw. Because that's the kind of trivia I love to collect. (Does woolly have two L's? I can't remember.)

12. (DOUBLE BONUS!) What my firstborn wrote on Facebook on Mother's day:

"so my mom is awesome, infinitely beautiful, and brought me up by teaching me that debutantes can be foul-mouthed feminists who read encyclopedias of serial homicide for fun, which is probably the best lesson a woman could learn. i love you bunches, Cornelia Read, thanks for being so fucking cool."

What's making you happy, dearest Fellow Nakeds?


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. Happy, happy -- what makes me happy is the new Bluetooth thingy I just had installed on my wheelchair today that operates everything in the fucking house. But the tech forgot to install the battery charger receptacle. I'm pretty sure that means my chair will turn into a pumpkin at midnight., and iTunes and DirecTV will go bankrupt.

    1. I will personally keep iTunes in business, no worries! And your new Bluetooth thingy sounds like total genius. The tech, not so much!

    2. xxxxxxxxx iTunes is still there. Thank you oh wondrous C. Tech returning at 7 am to fix everything. How can anyone fix anything at 7 AM never mind everything.

  3. SO happy For You, And Only A Teeny Twinge Of Envy! I Love That You Get To Have Bookshelves And Books And Lilacs And A Barn And Horseshit Sans Shoveling. Plus Pierre Deux. Your Kid Looks Amazing, And Has Those Most Excellent Wise Eyes. The Mothers Day Message Is Damn Wicked Great, And True, To Boot. Lovely! Mbh

    1. Awwww... happy happy and you have to come see the bookshelves and books and lilacs and all... xxx

  4. from Jacqueline

    Well, of course, the horseshit and the shelving do it for me - though, I kid you not, I am dealing with a very nasty eyelid infection caused by flying horseshit over six months ago (it might have been brain injury had it been flying bookcases though). Next step - possible biopsy to find out if I have some brain-altering parasite in there, and said biopsy might cause droopy eyelid (per post a few weeks ago). Now I clean out horses hoofs (which was of course "hooves" when I was a child), wearing protective eyewear. Very many congratulations on new pad, and of course on not having to waitress to afford it. Very cool daughter, too ....

    1. Oh, you poor thing, Our J! I will be sending all good waves of thought I can manage that there is no parasite in there. And I still think it's "hooves." I am a classicist.

      Wish I still had my tackbox with hoofpick, etc. But I did find my old Pony Club hatpin. Which is scotch-taped to my icebox because the pin part is long gone.

  5. I'm having chipotle tacos for breakfast and drinking Highland Grogg coffee from the mug my kid bought me for Mother's Day.

    This makes me very happy.

  6. What makes me happy? Rediscovering Naked Authors!

    So happy about your new house, and all the good things that are happening....

    1. What will make me happy is having you in the guest room at new house!

  7. What makes me happy is having my older kids living nearby.

    And, of course great friends like you. Can't wait to see the new place. It looks like paradise.


  8. I'm happy because:

    1. I never much cared for salt so, either way, I don't have to worry.
    2. I'm about to donate 550 books to a worthy cause and finally make room for...more books!
    3. Yes, trees. I love them.
    4. I took horseback riding lessons at my advanced age and didn't kill myself.
    5. After painting the whole house, inside and out, there is only one room left to do and then I won't have to see another painter for a really long time.
    6. I don't have to finish this list because I'm so happy about Our Corneli-Burger's happiness that no further words are necessary.

    1. And this is why I love you, dearest Patty.

      xx Corneli-burger

  9. I shit you not. Horse poop smells sweet.

  10. You had me at SALT. I shall go to my grave thinking that I have never rubbed salt in a wound, but I would like to try it before I expire. Tina and I have offended any number of entitled chefs in overpriced ristorantes by asking for salt. Pepper is okay, but salt is mandatory and if I don't put a dash in the French toast mixture all hell breaks loose. Thanks for a lovely blog.

    1. Cornelia Read5/16/2013 4:58 PM

      Victor, you are a man after my own tiny black heart. And why the hell do Bay Area chefs get so bent when you ask for salt? Drives me crazy... I mean, at LEAST put some soy sauce on the table.