Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Another Waste of Good Trees

From Paul Levine...

HERE'S A BOOK I WON'T READ: Washed up sitcom actress Mackenzie Phillips has written her autobiography, "High on Arrival." I know your reaction. Like, who gives a shit? But wait...there's a hook. She had sex WITH her father, John Phillips, of The Mamas and the Papas. Lots of sex. Yeah, I know your reaction to that, too. Like, who gives a shit, redux. Can a TV movie be far behind? Are you California Dreamin'? Of course. But then, who gives a shit?

FOR THAT GOURMAND, JIM BORN: Served at the Texas State Fair, deep-fried butter.

I HAVE DIED AND GONE TO TIVO HEAVEN: Two nights ago, here was my television lineup. "Dexter." "Entourage." "Californication," "Mad Men," and "Curb Your Enthusiasm." THIS, my friends, is the Golden Age of Television. (Except for seeing John Lithgow naked on "Dexter.") If you missed Kathleen Turner defining the slang term "trombone" and apparently offering to demonstrate the maneuver, tune in to a re-run of "Californication." As for "Curb...", what's not to like about an episode entitled "Vehicular Fellatio?"
Nice seeing Lolita Davidovich back on the screen. If she were to marry Larry David, would she change her name to Lolita Davidovich-David?

I DON'T WANT TO BURST YOUR BALLOON, BUT... After grabbing an iced coffee at a Starbucks in Studio City, I gotta ask: Do all those people pounding away at laptops really believe they're going to sell the great American screenplay?

NO HANGING CHADS JOKES, PLEASE! With QB Chad Pennington hurt, the Miami Dolphins are turning to backup Chad Henne. If he goes down, will the Fins sign Chad Michael Murray?

YOU SAY "CITIZEN KANE," I SAY ELVIS AND ANN-MARGRET: I cannot take seriously a list of "Top Movies" that does not include "Viva Las Vegas."

Did anyone watch the heavyweight fight Saturday night on HBO? Vitali "Iron Man" Klitschko stopped Cris Arreola with a TKO in the 10th round. Klitschko, a Mount Rushmore of a fighter, reminds me of the android boxer in the Twilight Zone episode "Steel" with Lee Marvin. Just for fun, I'd like to see Sylvester Stallone go a round with Klitscko. Is that mean?

Always honest, seldom kind...

Paul Levine


  1. James O. Born9/29/2009 5:41 AM

    I watched Entourage and Californication too. My wife is not a fan. The shows can be rough in some areas.

    I have a photo from last year of me at the deep fried, chocolate dipped bacon stand. I didn't have the nerve to try it.


  2. What? No comment on the arrest of Roman Polanski? What gives, Paulie?

  3. Patty, I am yielding to our law enforcement expert, Mr. Born, for all opinions on "People vs. Polanski." Stay tuned.

  4. "Always honest, seldom kind..."
    in keeping with that mantra...where's the synopsis of Saturday's PSU debacle?


  5. Jon,
    Forty years ago, Joe Paterno would say you win with overall defense, the O Line and the kicking game. I know that's changed a bit with the sophistication of the college passing game, but there's still truth in it Sat nite, PSU's O Line was a disaster, and the kicking game (missed field goal, short kickoffs, lousy kick coverage, and WORST of all, blocked punt for a TD) was a disaster. Can't win that way. The weakness in the O-Line was visible in the games against the three weak non-conference teams. Saturday was disheartening but not surprising.

    It's really a very simple game.

  6. yes, a simple game indeed.....
    Just control the O line and the D line; make no mistakes in the kicking game or special teams; get more turnovers than you give; practice precise clock management and NO penalties. That is a solid game plan that would work even in Red Grange's era.

    PSU didn't control the line on either side of the ball. The score belies the truth of how poorly they played.If not for the lions first play from scrimmage, there would be virtually no offense..........didn't see their first 3 games but was surprised that they were rated #4/5 in the polls.....

    Then again, FSU failed to rise to the occassion this past weekend....

    PS: football is ALWAYS worth giving a shit [over].

  7. I'm an Entourage and Curb fan and quickly becoming a fan of Bored to Death.

    How can you not love a show that has dialogue like this?

    Ted Danson: ...God I'm bored. Death by a thousand dull conversations. I don't know what's going on, but everyone has bad wine breath tonight. It's like Chernobyl out there.

    Jason Schwartzman: Do you think we drink too much?

    TD: No, we don't drink too much. Men face reality, women don't, that's why men need to drink.

    JS: That's a line from my novel.

    TD: Yeah? Well you stole it from me.

    JS: No, I didn't.

    TD: Yeah, actually, you did.

    JS: Actually, no, I didn't.

    TD: Fine, Jonathan.

    JS: Anyway, Suzanne moved out today because she says I drink too much.

    TD: I'm not surprised.

    JS: Why do you say that?

    TD: Because you're like me, Jonathan. We enthrall and then we disappoint.

  8. The bad wine breath/Chernobyl line sings. No doubt about it.

    But I find Jason Schwartzman's deadpan, low energy, affectless manner off-putting.

    I wish Ted Danson was the lead.

  9. Glad we have some good TV back on the air. Nice balance of the dark and the ridiculous (but fun!).

    Jim's comment about the deep fried chocolate dipped bacon stand--well, once again, all the food groups. Love to try it.