Tuesday, May 13, 2008

The Answer Man Can

By Paul,


Q. Is it possible to write three (3) cliches in one (1) sentence?
Elmo Klump, Third Grade, Worcestershire, MA

A. Yes, if your name is Barbara Walter's and you've written your autobio entitled "Audition" (subtitle: "I shagged Senator Brooke and wanted to shag Fidel Castro.")
"Just before the ax fell, lightning struck and my life changed never to be the same again."

Q. Does Barack Obama remind you of Adlai Stevenson with charisma?
Estes Kefauver, Turkey Point, TN

A. Not a darn bit. As proof, check out this Wikipedia description of Stevenson's race against (Military Hero!) Dwight Eisenhower.

"Although Stevenson's eloquent oratory and thoughtful, stylish demeanor thrilled many intellectuals and members of the nation's academic community, the Republicans and some working-class Democrats ridiculed what they perceived as his indecisive, aristocratic air. During the 1952 campaign Stewart Alsop, a powerful Connecticut Republican and the brother of newspaper columnist Joseph Alsop, labeled Stevenson an "egghead", based on his baldness and intellectual air."

By the way, I find your question "elitist."
Q. How can Senator Obama be both a Muslim (and cousin of Osama bin Laden) and a member of a Christian church whose pastor wants to hang President Bush by his testicles from the Lincoln Memorial? (P.S. I heard this on Fox News Channel).
Elmer Porkrinder, Bark ARK

A. The Answer man is clueless. Go ask Sean Hannity.



  1. Adlai Stevenson would have made a great president. So will Barack obama. Hillary Clinton would make an excellent guard at a women's prison.

  2. (psst, Paul--"Walters" has no apostrophe...I know it's a typo, but it'll do a wonders for your credibility)

    Black Jack Pershing, the Pedant

  3. Adlai Stevenson. Wasn't he that actor on MASH? I didn't know he ran for president. Was he a Muslim, too?

  4. Stevenson, Kafauver and Bin Laden all in one post.

    I'm impressed.


  5. Did Babs really write that sentence? I'm impressed. She has the gift of gab, but she's itching for a fight with the written word police, even though I guess it will all come out in the wash. Have a nice day.