Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Women Are Smarter Than Men

From Paul

First, congratulations to the Kansas Jayhawks for their stunning, come-from-behind 75-68 overtime win over Memphis last night.

Tonight, Tennessee takes on Stanford for the women's basketball title.

Now, let's get to our thesis. Women are smarter than men. Okay, you knew that. Everyone knows that, even Jim Born. But here's more proof:

1. FEMALE ATHLETES ACTUALLY GO TO CLASS!


The Tennessee women's basketball team has a 100% graduation rate over the last several years. The Tennessee men's team graduated only 33% of its players in the same period. The other women's finalist, Stanford, graduated 92% of its players.
How about the two men's teams in the championship game? Kansas: 45% and Memphis 40%

Yeah, I know some male basketball players leave college early for the NBA draft. But statistically, that does not appreciably skew the numbers.

2. FEMALE ATHLETES HAVE FEWER TATTOOS.
Many football players, especially linemen, seem to have barbed wire circling their upper arms. Basketball players favor Biblical passages, love letters, and crib sheets for Sociology 101. Not even female field hockey players, who arguably are as tough as middle linebackers, look like that.

3. FEMALE ATHLETES SELDOM GET ARRESTED FOR PUBLIC MASTURBATION.

I refer, of course, to Penn State guard Stanley Pringle, arrested last week for public lewdness. The allegation: he sneaked up behind a female student in the library stacks and began masturbating.

Personally, I am shocked. A basketball player in the library?????

There are several more reasons women are smarter than men. If you don't believe me, ask Patty, Cornelia, and Jacqueline.

Stupidly yours,
Paul

12 comments:

  1. James O. Born4/08/2008 6:42 AM

    %100 percent graduation rate. That's almost all of them.

    Paul, does this make you throw your support from Obama to Hillary Clinton?

    Jim

    ReplyDelete
  2. patty smiley4/08/2008 8:34 AM

    Har, har, har, James O.

    I don't necessarily think women are smarter than men, because..um...

    Oh, never mind. You're right. See how smart you are?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Far fewer felons in general, as well as lower incidence of beating the s### out of their domestic partners.
    When you're right, you're right!
    M

    ReplyDelete
  4. Well, what did you think was the reason that women live longer than men? Hello-o-o?

    Plus, I've always found that women are sexier than men...though I have no empirical evidence to support that assertion.

    Smarter, sexier...what else of value is left in life?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Testosterone is a dangerous thing!

    lol

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  6. as a tattooed ex field hockey player, I'm dragging down my gender....

    ReplyDelete
  7. Holy crow! It's the Green Hornet!

    You're serious, aren't you--a basketball player in the library? Leapin' Lizards!

    Tom, T.O.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Ah, let me count the ways...

    ReplyDelete
  9. Enjoyed your blog today. My sister and I were Division I scholarship athletes. Based on my experience non-revenue athletes saw their sports as their ticket to paying for college. We were there for degrees but sports and scholarships was why we were at that particular school.

    Hope you don't change your mind about all this when I confess that I hid my recruiting mail from Penn State.

    K

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  10. LOL. At the very least, women athletes seem less likely to drop out of school. Depending on your opinion about higher ed, that might not necessarily mean they're smarter.

    Current stats show that a big majority of college students are now women. Where are the men, and how do we get them back? Oh yeah, tell them where the women are -- duh!

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  11. Good piece in TIME Magazine by the Dir. of Admissions for Kenyon--she revealed the Dirty Little Secret --schools are manipulating admissions because it is now 60/40 female/ male - the less q. males need to be let in, because, as 1 chap put it, "this is William and Mary, not Mary and Mary"

    ReplyDelete
  12. I was reading a comment. This comment said "Well, what did you think was the reason that women live longer than men?"

    Women live longer because of modern medicine, not because of intelligence. Just saying intelligence is the reason, why women live longer, don't make it so. That would be a logical fallacy. You have to so evidence or in this cases a biological connection.

    ReplyDelete