Monday, March 17, 2008

Things people send me

Patty here...

All of us get those forwarded photos, jokes, and dire warnings from friends who think they'll make our day. Most fall flat. Here are a few worth sharing.

Rush Limbaugh was recently musing about the physical toll this campaign has taken on Hillary Clinton, saying, "Will this country want to actually watch a woman get older before their eyes on a daily basis?...Men aging makes them look more authoritative, accomplished, and distinguished."

Um...really? The captions are mine, but I'm sure you can do better.

Winter Olympics Committee announces Dirty Harry's chest will be used in ski jump competition.

Governor Schwarzenegger, how far you're fallen.

Baby Bump?

James Bond's waist: from 007 to 700.

Aging bear recently spotted at Paddington Station. No, wait. That's Pierce Brosnan. Never mind...

Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever.



A friend sent me these NASA photos taken in Space.


A Walk on the Wild Side


A hurricane brewing.

Here's a photo sent to me around Valentine's Day. Ahhh.



Stay tuned for more forwarded e-mails. In the meantime have a Happy Monday and a Happy St. Patrick's Day!

And hearty congratulations to our very own Jacqueline Winspear, whose latest novel An Incomplete Revenge continues to grace the Los Angeles Times Bestsellers list. YAY!!!!

21 comments:

  1. I have an Aunt who sends me all sorts of, um, interesting things. At least it lets me know that she's still alive. :o)

    Happy St. Patty's day, er, Patty!

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  2. And Happy St. Patrick's Day to you, Dear Friend.

    I dreamed I went to Ireland in my Erin go bragh.

    Groupie

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  3. Fabulous, Patty.

    Take a close look at the Governor's boobs and belly. Is it an optical illusion or is Yoda sprouting from the Terminator's torso?

    Now, if only you could find a shirtless photo of that "authoritative, accomplished, and distinguished" sack of shit named Rush Limbaugh.

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  4. patty smiley3/17/2008 8:07 AM

    Jeff, don't tease us like that. Dish, baby!

    The happiest of St. Paddy's day to you, dear Groupie.

    Paulie, that WOULD be juicy. If the pic exhists, I'll find it. Readers?

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  5. "Men aging makes them look more authoritative, accomplished, and distinguished."

    ????

    George Wanker Bush. 'Nuff said.

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  6. Looking at those pictures leaves me with one question:

    Why do men's boobs get bigger as they age and women's get smaller?

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  7. patty smiley3/17/2008 8:32 AM

    Louise, you nailed it—again.

    PJ, pithy observation. The only common ground is that both men's and women's boobs morph into cocker spaniel ears.

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  8. A friend of mine once told me that as men age they look more and more like Sean Connery; and as women age, they look more and more like Sean Connery. She also said that all newborns look like Winston Churchill.

    Maybe we can still agree on the latter...?

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  9. I've now seen far more of Rod Stewart than I EVER wanted to...

    Great laugh, thanks for that!

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  10. My favorite forwarded email du jour:

    The husband had just finished reading a new book entitled 'YOU CAN BE THE MAN OF YOUR HOUSE', written by a best selling author. He was very cautiously optimistic about what he had read, and was further determined to begin the changes to his marriage that he was now convinced were right and proper.

    He went to his wife in the kitchen and announced, "From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this household, and my word is Law. You will
    prepare me a gourmet meal tonight; and when I'm finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert. After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me, and we will have the kind of sex that I want."

    "Afterwards, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will wash my back, towel me dry and bring me my robe. Then, you will massage my feet and hands. Then tomorrow, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"

    The wife replied, "The f#%&*ing funeral director would be my first guess."

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  11. You've got to love the ones who are comfortable in their old skins and demonstrate some willingness to have fun at the expense of their former bod selves. Brosnan's bathing suit scene in "The Matador" comes to mind. Eastwood bare-chested in "Blood Work" does not.

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  12. Sorry, Patty, no delicious dish to be served. Just a good-hearted, elderly aunt who has lived her life in a tiny town in the middle of nowhere, and who is a little too gullible for her own good. Cleverly disguised chain letters, dire warnings, and cutesy stuff. What trash some people send around boggles the mind.

    Of course, I did get one from a (female) high school classmate entitled, "Why Men Shouldn't Skydive Naked".

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  13. patty smiley3/17/2008 11:34 AM

    OOOOh, Naked Skydiving. Something I've never tried. Life is full of possibilities.

    Ms. C, I love it! I shared a good laugh with Rebecca.

    Anon, not all babies look like Churchill, just most of them.

    Mims, I do admire people who are comfortable in their old bodies. I'm just not one of them.

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  14. Speaking of babies looking like Churchill....many moons ago when I was 12 or 13, my best friend, her four year old sister and I were walking down the main street of our town. A black lady was pushing her baby in a stroller and when she passed us, my friend's little sister stopped and yelled, "oh look! A chocolate baby!!!" True story.

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  15. Thanks, Patty! (I must admit, I couldn't believe it, about the LA Times).

    And Cornelia, I just love that story - definitely one to remember!

    And I'm going home tomorrow!!!!! Four weeks on the road, 6lbs lighter (believe it or not - but it'll go back on again by the weekend, no doubt about it), and I am so looking forward to having a nice cup of tea that I make myself in my own kitchen with my own kettle and tea pot! Then, (sigh) off again 8 days later ...

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  16. patty smiley3/17/2008 5:29 PM

    We'll be here to welcome you home, Our J!

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  17. James O. Born3/17/2008 5:58 PM

    As a 47 year old man I make no comments on the first few photos. The trick is to never have a shirtless photo taken.

    Jim

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  18. patty smiley3/17/2008 6:55 PM

    Hey, that's my motto, too.

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  19. Those photos of aging, fatted, sagging, "sexy" male stars should make ALL aging women feel much better about themselves. Bravo! Thanks for the post.

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  20. *sigh* Well, at least now I know that Jim Born and I are the same age.

    And I was just hoping to avoid having any photos taken right now, let alone shirtless.

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  21. Of course all of this is relevant only if Hillary decides to campaign topless.

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