Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Dems Need a Colonoscopy

By Left Wing Levine

DEMS EAT THEIR YOUNG (AND OLD):
It's fascinating to watch the Democrats cannibalize each other. The geniuses who offered up McGovern, Mondale, Dukakis, and Kerry are on the verge of self-immolation again, handing the election to an old geezer who doesn't know the players on the terrorism roster, even with a scorecard and wily Joe Lieberman whispering in his ear.

HERE'S WHERE IT GETS MESSY: Gordon Fischer, a former chair of the Iowa Democratic Party, aimed a low blow at Bill Clinton for the ex-Prexy implying that that Barack Obama did not love his country.

"Bill Clinton cannot possibly seriously believe Obama is not a patriot, and cannot possibly be said to be helping -- instead he is hurting -- his own party. B. [Bill] Clinton should never be forgiven. Period. This is a stain on his legacy, much worse, much deeper, than the one on Monica's blue dress."


NEWS FLASH: WHOOPS! HILLARY CLINTON DID NOT WIPE OUT A SNIPER'S NEST IN BOSNIA:
Hillary lies, if you can believe it. Originally, she claimed she had to run across the tarmac to escape sniper fire in Bosnia. (I'm not sure how this qualifies one to be President. Wouldn't it be a better story if she grabbed a rifle from a marine and fired back?) Anyway, she apologized yesterday for having "misspoke." Turns out, upon landing, she had tea and crumpets and watched a local mime troupe perform a hilarious skit based on ethnic cleansing, mass rape, and torture.

MISSED DAVE BARRY'S COLONOSCOPY COLUMN? GET OFF YOUR BUTT!
Alert readers will catch the nexus between the Democratic Party and the pressing need for a colonoscopy. If you missed Dave Barry's hilarious and medically crucial column, here's: "A Long Journey Into My Colon -- And Yours"

Paul (Clean as a Whistle) Levine

6 comments:

  1. Now, here's a little bit of synchronicity. While I was reading your post today I was going to respond with a paraphrase of a Dave Barry quote. Then, you link to a Dave Barry column. The stars have just aligned.

    Okay, what I was thinking was, and I'm paraphrasing, when your buddy Dave once said:

    If you get a flat tire, a Republican won't even bother stopping to help you.

    A Democrat will stop to help you, but set your car on fire while trying to change the tire.

    And frankly, I think Dave simply nailed it, and we can now sit back and watch Clinton and Obama and the DNC set the car on fire.

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  2. James O. Born3/25/2008 7:29 AM

    Paul,
    Fishcer removed the comment and admitted it was "tasteless".

    I'm sorry to see thing degenerate too.

    McCain mayhold different views but I flinch al ittle at calling a guy who sacrificied so much "an old geezer". I don't believe his service in the Navy entitles him to the Presidency but I hope I look that good when I'm his age even if I don't eventually spend a few years being tortured.

    Jim

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  3. Fischer might have retracted the comment, but at least he was being completely honest about how he felt.

    Incredibly stupid as well, but decidedly honest.

    And this coming from a fellow Iowan, proud of gold medal gymnast Shannon Johnson, Master's Champion golfer Zach Johnson, and the Drake Bulldogs.

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  4. Jeff,
    No list of accomplished Iowans would be complete with the brilliant Meredith Wilson of Mason City.

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  5. patty smiley3/25/2008 8:50 AM

    I've turned off and tuned out...except to Dave Barry. I guffawed over my morning coffee. Thanks for the link.

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  6. There's definitely a certain...synchronicity between what's happening with all the political parties on the planet and what Dave experienced the night before his colonoscopy. That I can't deny.

    But the whole colonoscopy bit? I have my first one coming up next month, and I'm glad I read Mr. Barry's fine and illuminating essay, but I'm still nervous.

    Upon completion of said event, however, I'm reasonably certain I won't be sending off for his great completion offer!

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