Tuesday, March 04, 2008

45 RPM

By Cornelia

I am going to turn forty five on Saturday. That seems completely bizarre to me. I haven't progressed intellectually or maturity-wise much since I was about fifteen. Some days I'm okay with that. But now I have to realize that means I'm only going to be ahead of my kids for another twelve months.

Since I will be in Denver for my big event, no doubt drinking my face off with longtime bar buddy Candace on whom the character Ellis in my first novel was based, I am not going to try anything super-duper in this week's blog. Especially since I have to catch a plane tomorrow and I haven't even thought about the laundry yet, much less packing.

So here are some birthday cakes I've collected over the last week. I like to think of who they were made for, and the year of life each one describes. All I can say is that I think the last one would be the only one I'd attempt to make for ANYONE, this week.

But I've thrown in some virtual cakes for our Naked Regulars...

Wonder cake
Global cake (with a great name for Canada)

Aqua cake

Treasure cake

Guinea-pig cake

Biker cake

Semper cake

Coffee cake
Wide-mouth cake
This is actually a cake designed for horses


Awesome cake

PBR cake

Sushi cake... how amazing is THAT?

Smackdown cake

A cake that goes where no cake has gone before

Arrrrrrgh-matey cake

Power cake

Deere John cake

Deer GOD cake


Diet cake (note on top reads "only 500,000 calories")

Duckie cake

Cakewinkle: nothing up my sleeve... hey presto!

A nice cake of Wensleydale


Last train to Cakesville

Porcine cake

Hooligan cake

Scary cake

Our J cake

Patty cake

Fran cake, minus the requisite Hello Kitty Glock

Andi cake

Dusty cake

Tom-from-T.O. cake

Marcus cake

Terrenoire cake

Ari cake (because they didn't have Boggle)

Marianne cake

Rae cake

Barbies-for-Born cake

Paulie cake (I believe they call this a "tort")

My kinda cake

I'd love to hear about which one each of you would most like to receive, at the next personal anniversary you celebrate.


  1. Happy Birthday, Cornelia!! :-D I'm only a year and tiny bit behind you and I also still feel like I'm fifteen years old.

    Ooh. I love my birthday cake. Van Gogh. *Blush*.

    What awesome cakes you found. I find myself getting hooked on Ace of Cakes on the foodie channel (?) now and then, because of the sheer amazing stuff they make. If I had to go find a job, I'd go work for them. :-D If my kitchen were bigger than the proverbial postage stamp, I'd be a real danger to some people's waistlines. :-D

    Love, love, love the guinea pig cake. :-D

    For you, lessee; small three tier rich chocolate poundcake with raspberry fruit spread mixed with Cointreau between layers, all coated with a thick layer of chocolate ganache; topped with dark chocolate curls, edible gold leaf bits' and either marzipan fruits or something like rum truffles or white chocolate/edible gold speckled stars, or maybe sugar dusted violets...

    Sigh, I think I'll finish my porridge and go find my coffee. It's too early in the morning for such rich food. :-D

    Happy day, Miss. C. Hopefully I might see you at Bouchercon. :-D


  2. Many happy returns of the day, Miss C!

    And I lurve my cake, thanks ever so...


  3. I am so honored to have a Man in Black/Sun Records cake. I am not worthy.

    Happy birthday, Miss C. You're just hitting your stride.

    And you're so much younger than I am. Just a tyke.

  4. You always seem to find really cool photos. These are great.

    You know, I have clouded memories of being bizarre when I was forty-five. Don't worry, it'll pass, along with lots of gas when you hit fifty.

    Happy Birthday.

  5. Ooooo, Marianne--I want you to be the chef for my NEXT birthday. Or maybe we could find you a kitchen at Bcon? YUM!!

    Rae, I only wish I could've found one of Calvin and Hobbes dancing, as you so deserve!! (then again, that might be a little uncomfortable to actually SWALLOW...)

    David, I LOVE the idea of being just a tyke, and no one deserves a Johnny/Sun cake more than you, especially with all the shit you've had to go through lately. I think you should have birthday parties early and often this year.

    Lee, thanks for the tip about 50. Something to look forward to! And I love finding photos. I wish I could just find photos all day and then call it a novel and turn it in to my editor. That would be sooo fun!

  6. Cake?

    Meh. Too fussy. Have never cared for the stuff. Most hateful of all are birthday cakes, as they invariably come bundled with tiresome relatives and singing waiters and attention for events for which you have no responsibility or blame.

    But if feel like making me a nice non-fancy berry pie of some sort... or maybe a cobbler... well, then we can talk.

    If you're fresh out of berries, then a beer will do. In a bottle, please. If it's in a can... well, a glass of water or tea would be fine.

    And 45? For real? Jeez... sit down and wait for the nice young men to come and wheel you back to 4 pm supper. You're not long for this world, old woman. Just remain still and try not to shout when you talk. The end is near. Very near. In fact, you might not make it to the end of this po

    mean yet spry @ 43 B

  7. Brett, see, I sensed this about you and cake, and this is why I did not post one for you--although I think if they made exploding helicopter/fishing rod cakes we should each get a big fat slice. Then we can blow up the singing waiters. I HUGELY owe you an email...

  8. Oh, God, I hate singing waiters. And feel so totally embarrassed when people sing happy birthday to me, that I want to crawl into a corner and die. So Brett, if I crawl over to your corner to join you for a beer, or a pot of tea, I'll bring either a home made blue-berry pie or my crispy-crust apple maple pie, or apple-peach maple pie and a can of whipped cream. :-D Other Naked Awfurs are welcome to join us, but must bring their own spoons.

    Gee, do you think people might notice at Bouchercon, gales of hilarity and munching sounds coming from beneath one of those super huge round tables with the white tablecloth that reaches the floor? Or should we keep it simple and just take over a corner of the bar? :-D


  9. I say we take over the ENTIRE bar.

  10. "Inside every older person is a younger person---wondering what the hell happened."
    Cora Harvey Armstrong

    Hope you have a Terrific Day, Cornelia.


    If the briefcase cake becomes litigious, THEN it is a tort.

  11. And for that wonderful explanation, Jon, you get half of Paulie's briefcase, with all the good frosting.

  12. Happy Birthday for Saturday! Shit I can't wait til I'm 45 - I've had this weird thing my whole life where I want to be old. Now that I'm getting grey hairs sprouting daily I've even stopped shaving my head. And I love that Guinness cake! Would have been the perfect accompaniment to my 30th birthday - I insisted that the only presents I'd accept were packs of Guinness, and EVERYBODY took me deadly seriously. Started on the black pints at 10am... don't remember too much of the end of the day, but naturally I would have gotten wittier and more devastatingly handsome with every glass.

    Entire bar.....YES YES YES. And we can all compare ideas on the best way to kill singing waiters. I vote we all sing them to death.

  13. OH OH OH OH!!!!!! I love it! Can they deliver to the Adams Mark?

    To those who will be in Denver, ahem. cornelia turns 45 on Saturday. I turn 55 on Sunday and currently have THE FLIGHT FROM HELL out on Sunday morning bcause I $*%^(@#"** waited too long to decide to attend LCC. At midnight i intend to call NWA and see about moving my flight to later in the day. Hope that works since at midnight I expect to be in the bar.

    I recall having a party when I was 33 1/3 and I think I mighta done something at 45. I doubt I'll want much at 78 but could someone please save the photo and bring me a cake?

    Oh MY GODS it is so wonderful!

    See you in oh sh*t, about 24 hours!

  14. Marcus, you could not possibly GET any more witty and handsome than you already are--the world could not handle your splendor.

    Andi, I tried to find you the Queen of Romania cake, but sadly, nothing doing...

  15. Hah! Cornelia: Happy Birthday and enjoy your weekend.

    Thank you for the cake--I love it! If only I could eat it, too.

    Paulie's cake has my initials on it, but I'm happy to share.

    Let me tell you again that I really enjoyed THE CRAZY SCHOOL. Quite an impact. Some of our "regular" schools are almost as bad, generally, and as bad or worse specifically. But let's not spoil your birthday.

  16. That last was from:

    Tom, T.O.

  17. Happy Birthday, Cornelia. It only gets better from here on out.

  18. Those chocolate leaves! Make me want to find the whole tree.

    Happy Birthday, Cornelia!

  19. Mine would, of course, be made of tempura.

  20. Oh, and re: singing waiters: A couple of years ago when I was turning 29 for the first time, I celebrated out at dinner with my friends, at the sort of restaurant where they think you want them to sing (Trader Vic's in Emeryville). Fortunately, my friend Mary knows me very well and was able to forcefully make the point to the waiter that, if there were any singing I would go out the window, and disaster was averted.

  21. Love my Patty Cake! Have a wonderful B-day and a super trip. xoxox

  22. Happy Birthday

    I liked the train.


  23. Oh Hello Kitty! And I found a non-Kitty pink Glock too, so it's perfect!

    It's nice and chilly here in Denver, and you'll have a lovely birthday!

  24. Happy B-Day dear girl! I will be 50 on the 12th ( HOLY SHIT!, HOW did THAT HAPPEN?)

    I want Wallace & Grommitt & Sushi & Maker' Mark on the side!

    See you soon!


  25. By my December birthday, I'm looking for a Published-cake...

    Happy Birthday, Cornelia!

  26. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CORNELIA!! (remember me from Houston (but now I'm in Az.)? and Bksp, of course) I'm nine months older than you, but can tell you, 45 ain't so bad (what I can remember of it, that is.) haha

    OMG, those cakes are hysterical...but the fish one is a little disturbing. ;-P If I were to order one...it'd be the dessert cake...can't ever have too much dessert.

    Oh, and sorry I missed you last month at Poisoned Pen, I wasn't able to make it that night you were there. =(

    Have a great birthday!!