Thursday, January 03, 2008

Now what? Oh Yeah, Resolutions.

For my second clichéd holiday post let’s look at resolutions. Ones we’ve made, ones we’ve kept, ones we’ve heard of; it doesn’t matter, whatever you’d like to talk about.

I’ve made a few resolutions over the years but most are half-hearted and I don’t even know if I kept them. The most common resolution is to lose weight. I’m all on board with that except for the dieting part.

Joe Konrath over at A Newbie’s Guide to Publishing asked for writer’s goals for the coming year. Of course I wrote up a joke and he posted it, that’s why I shot his book. I wrote:

My main goal is annex the western third of Canada and rename it Jimvada. The capital will become Bornville. Gambling, outrageous fireworks and sex with farm animals will be legalized. From this stable and fun place to live I will then create an army that will attack countries which have no military or Moslems because it seems like those are the two things that seem to cause problems with invasions. Perhaps Polynesia because they’re protected by France which is the same as no military.I will reach this goal as I do all other goals. I will train, be ruthlessly determined and then rely on a tremendous amount of luck.

On retrospect I want half of Canada.

Here’s a list of most popular resolutions from USA.GOV

Lose Weight
Pay Off Debt
Save Money
Get a Better Job
Get Fit
Eat Right
Get a Better Education
Drink Less Alcohol
Quit Smoking Now
Reduce Stress Overall
Reduce Stress at Work
Take a Trip
Volunteer to Help Others

And here is’s tips on how to achieve your resolutions:

Create a PlanSetting a goal without formulating a plan is merely wishful thinking. In order for your resolution to have resolve, (as the word "resolution" implies), it must translate into clear steps that can be put into action. A good plan will tell you A) What to do next and B) What are all of the steps required to complete the goal.
2. Create Your Plan IMMEDIATELYIf you're like most people, then you'll have a limited window of opportunity during the first few days of January to harness your motivation. After that, most people forget their resolutions completely
3. Write Down Your Resolution and exists to help you formulate a plan, which we then help you stick to. But even if you don't use, commit your resolution and plan to writing someplace, such as a notebook or journal.4. Think "Year Round," Not Just New Year'sNothing big gets accomplished in one day. Resolutions are set in one day, but accomplished with a hundred tiny steps that happen throughout the year. New Year's resolutions should be nothing more than a starting point. You must develop a ritual or habit for revisiting your plan. helps you stick to your plan by providing email reminders that arrive when it's time to work on a given task.
5. Remain FlexibleExpect that your plan can and will change. Life has a funny way of throwing unexpected things at us, and flexibility is required to complete anything but the simplest goal. Sometimes the goal itself will even change. Most of all, recognize partial successes at every step along the way. Just as a resolution isn't accomplished the day it's stated, neither is it accomplished the day you reach your goal. Rather, it's accomplished in many small increments along the way. Acknowledge these incremental successes as they come.
There that solves it. Just follow these plans.

What are some of your resolutions? Do you follow them?

Regardless, join me next Thursday for a return to regular posts and most of all, Happy New Year.


  1. I made one big one. Shut off the computer by 9 each night. So far, so good.

    Happy New Year to all you Nudists...

  2. I resolve:
    1. To finally learn Spanish; and

    2. To stop cursing.

    What, you don't think I can do it? ¡Eres un pinche güey!

  3. I don't make new year's resolutions but in the quiet moments of Rose Bowl commercials I often ponder what I have and what I want, i.e., I have chips and salsa and I want another beer. Hope you all get everything you want this year.

  4. Legalizing sex with farm animals huh? You know, my cousin-in-law is a minister. I don't talk to him often, but I could put you in touch with him if you need to, you know, talk.

  5. Thanks fr the comments.

    I'll worry about the farm animals after I get Canada in line.


  6. My resolution is to stop procrastinating, and I'm going to get started on that tomorrow ;-)

  7. Gambling, outrageous fireworks and sex with farm animals will be legalized.

    But Jim, you already live in Florida.

  8. We're too tough on fireworks.


  9. I don't believe in the New Year Fairy, so that frees me from making silly vows to myself.

    Fun post. You should be a writer or something. However, be advised: the farm animal rights folks are monitoring this blog. Well, the Canadian division is.