The west wall of my bedroom is floor-to-ceiling glass. I have window blinds but I rarely close them because my backyard is fenced and secluded. So one day last week after showering, I blithely stepped into the bedroom and locked gazes with the pool guy who was skimming sycamore leaves from my spa.
I sprinted into the closet and hid behind my favorite 1980s cardigan sweater, wondering why he was there so early and when exactly shoulder pads had gone out of style. After a moment of quiet reflection, I thought, Wait a minute. Why is he screaming? Maybe I’m not as svelte as I was in my 20s, but seeing me in the buff won’t exactly trigger post traumatic stress syndrome.
Then a friend sent me the following article. Talk about embarrassing. We'll let our Florida experts tell us if this is real or a hoax.
Get out of the Car!
(This is supposedly a true account recorded in the Police Log of Sarasota, Florida.)
An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle.
She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her lungs, “I have a gun, and I know how to use it! Get out of the car!”
The four men didn’t wait for a second threat. They got out and ran like mad.
The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver’s seat. She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition.
She tried and tried, and then she realized why. It was for the same reason she had wondered why there was a football, a Frisbee and two 12-packs of beer in the front seat.
A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down.
She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the police station to report her mistake. The sergeant to whom she told the story couldn’t stop laughing. He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale men were reporting a car jacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun. No charges were filed.
Moral of the story? If you’re going to have a senior moment…make it memorable.
Senior or not, got any embarrassing moments to share? What about weird Florida stories?