What a weekend.
Who to root for? The pugnancious Rosie O'Donnell? Or the crude Donald Trump with his art deco combover (The Donald's hair bears an eerie resemblace to the Crayola color known as "sunset orange," though an argument could be made for "mango tango."
But speaking of the evil spawn of Hollywood...I finally finished reading, "The Devil's Guide to Hollywood by vulgarian and screenwriter Joe Eszterhas ("Basic Instinct," "Showgirls"). Eszterhas reminds the reader at least four times that he "bedded" actress Sharon Stone. It would be difficult to point out the single most tasteless, seamy anecdote from the book, but if required, here's what I'd choose:
I [Joe Eszterhas] was introduced to Martin Scorses a few years after I publicly fired his good friend and agent Michael Ovitz. Marty looked at me superciliously, barely taking my hand.
I knew he was the King of the Auteurs, while I was the auteur-slayer. I knew how seriously he took himself, while I prided myself on being the "rogue elephant" of screenwriters.
I knew all those things about him and I knew a whole lot more that he didn't know I knoew, things I had learned from one of his wives, things she had told me after we'd made love on the kitchen floor of Marty's house while Marty was off on location, being the auteur.
Eszterhas takes himself very seriously and viciously criticizes writers most would consider his superiors (William Goldman, Robert Towne).
I much prefer Hollywood books with more wit and less ego. Joe Keenan of "Desperate Housewives," recently chose his five favorite Hollywood satires for the Wall Street Journal.
"What Makes Sammy Run?" By Budd Schulberg
"The Player" by Michael Tolkin
"The Deal" by Peter Lefcourt
"Artistic Differences" by Charlie Hauck
"Little Me" by Patrick Dennis.
Hard to argue with any of those. I might add Donald Westlake's "Sacred Monster." And I've had a sneak peak at Bill Bryan's "Keep It Real," a wild, riotous romp through the world of reality television. The book will be published in March, and I'll have more to say then.